Bring on the Funny in the Fitness

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

04 Aug 2006 06:48 AM

Happy First Friday of August and for many, the last Friday before school starts off again. For many local schools in my area, school goes back into session next Wednesday and Thursday with the rest following promptly on Monday August 14th. The funny part for me is I remember not going back to school until after Labor Day. So for those of you getting ready to send your kids back, getting ready to go back yourselves, getting ready to resume teaching and other back to school issues, here are today's Friday Fitness Funnies!

Mind Games at the Gym

• Wear a helmet. I think you'll find that people will give you a lot more room when you're lifting when you walk in with head protection (especially when you do overhead exercises!).
• Pick up the 2-pound dumbbells and proceed to lift them like you're doing the hardest set in your life. Scream and strain like you're pushing it to the limit. The larger you are, the more effective this one will be.
• Have your workout partner bring an old remote control from home. When he presses a button, do a rep. When hits "fast forward" go faster. When he hits "pause" hold the weight where it is. Just make sure he doesn't hit the "eject" button, especially after a hard set!
• Start your rep counting at 100, so your first rep will be 101
• Carry a rolling suitcase to the gym rather than a duffel bag

Is Anything Healthy Anymore?

Seriously, is it? Everything we eat, drink and breath can cause us to become obese or created cancer in a laboratory rat. Have you ever wondered whether or not we're laboratory rats? You can't eat canned tuna without risking mercury poisoning. You can't eat fresh fruit and vegetables without potentially risking tumors from the pesticides, you can't eat chicken unless you want to risk mad chicken disease and somewhere, somehow farm-raised salmon can deliver swine flu (say what?) and depending where you are - wine is good for you or wine is bad for you.

I miss the days of getting sick because you ate too many sweets. I miss the days when you got sick because you ate something that was distinctly inedible. Oh and in case you're wondering, worrying about what you can eat can make you sick too.

Diet Patches

There's a patch for everything these days from birth control to nicotine reduction - so it shouldn't surprise you that there are diet patches. I'm not sure how diet patches work, but I'm assuming the idea is to put a patch on the mouth and that prevents the intake of calories.

What do you find funny about fitness and diet today?

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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