Do You Prevent Your Own Success?

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

03 Jun 2008 01:41 PM

A friend of mine gave me a great book recently. In April, I was going to England for a week and I'm always desperate for good reading material on the plane. We've got an odd collection of books around here, but I love books that have buried wisdom in them. This book is called "How to Be Totally Miserable."

Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. - William Shakespeare

Misery Loves Company

Too often we sabotage our own success whether in life, in school or in our fitness choices. "How To Be Totally Miserable" is both humorous and insightful because it points out, quietly and firmly, how much energy we often pour into not liking ourselves and in fact, into downright hating ourselves. Our internal dialogue with ourselves is often populated with language we would never stand for someone saying about the people we love.

So why would we say it to ourselves?

It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head. -Sally Kempton

How Do We Make Ourselves Miserable ...

How can we make our own misery? It starts with disliking ourselves and discounting our own internal voices, not to mention focusing only on the negative aspects of personal failure. The author of this book lists a few other ways in which we make ourselves miserable:

• Believe that things will never change
• Don't be proactive in changing things
• Relive bad memories over and over
• Complain about the good things
• Refuse to set attainable goals
• Cling to grudges
• Insult yourself
• Judge the motives of everyone around you
• Begrudge others their good fortune

But among this list of things, there are three that I agree with more than anything else. You make yourself miserable when you won't smile, you won't laugh and you won't sing or dance. How do you make yourself miserable?

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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