Family Fitness: Stress and How it Affects the Family

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

03 Jul 2008 06:48 AM

How many arguments do parents have when one or the other arrives late from work? How many times have you heard a partner say, 'I thought this was the one place I could catch a break!' The myth of family is that the home should be a bastion of peace and tranquility. The stresses of life should not walk in the front door and sit down to share the supper table with the wife, kids, parents and in-laws.

Family Stress

Family stress is very much like normal stress in that the stress itself is inevitable. Families, after all, are comprised of individuals who each carry their own stress and difficulties wherever they go. It is how families cope with stress that is important.

In families where both mom and dad are working, their stress is caused more by the separate pressures of their jobs and their roles in their family than by any conflicts that arise from juggling the dual responsibilities. A study done for the American Psychological Association found that both parents derive self-esteem from their accomplishments at work rather than accomplishments at home while their emotional state of happiness or depression is obtained from the relationships they have within their family.

As with the stress of the individual's life, there are some symptoms of family stress:

• Sense of urgency
• Little time to spend together
• Sense of frustration (too much to do)
• Desire for the simpler life
• Never time to relax
• Explosive arguments
• Bickering
• Conversations centered on time and tasks rather than people and feelings
• Meals eaten in haste
• Constant rushing from place to place
• Escaping into work or another activity
• Isolation in room
• Sense of guilt

Coping with Stress

Families who are less stressed seem to find time to enjoy and support each other. They display more flexibility in their schedules, have reasonable expectations and communicate with each other. They view stress as a challenge to be tackled in earnest and as a temporary situation that they will overcome.

A family's capacity for coping and overcoming stress requires a cooperative effort of the various members of the family. The following is a list of simple tips to help family's cope with the challenges that life's stress has to offer.

• Make lists
• Be realistic about time frames
• Let go of the compulsion to do it all
• Accept that there will always be projects in progress
• Re-examine standards for house keeping
• Purchase goods and services that buy time if you can afford it
• Let go of the 'super parent' myth
• Give yourself and others credit for tasks completed (even the little ones)
• Select new commitments carefully
• Say no to the things that aren't important
• Say yes to the things in which your children are directly involved
• Prioritize (do not spread yourself thin)
• Limit time spent on the phone, the computer and other isolating activities.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help

Families provide the support structure and the emotional backbone of your lifestyle. Balancing the rigors of family stress and personal stress may seem to be a large undertaking. Remembering that stress is inevitable is the first key to coping with the challenges that come your way. Remembering that your family is important and the stresses that are shared are less than the stresses we keep to ourselves is the second.

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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