Friday the 14th Fitness Funnies

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

14 Apr 2006 03:00 PM

It's Friday and laughter is an excellent fitness tool because when we laugh, we release endorphins that improve our mood, our outlook and our mindset. A positive mindset that uplifts the body and the soul provides you with the support to face the trials of life. So get ready to flex your funny bone and enjoy the following:

From FitStep Funnies:

I thought I would let you, my friends, in on a little secret I've found for building my arm and shoulder muscles. You might wish to adopt this regimen. Three days a week works well.

I start by standing outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can. After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute! Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at this level.

Here's a Gem for the Gym Enthusiasts!

Going to the gym should be fun! Are you stuck in a rut? Try a few of these psychological mind games and enjoy the confusion of everyone around you. It's just like facing the wrong way in an elevator and looking at the other people instead of the ceiling or wall.

1. Fill an old vodka bottle with water and use it during a workout. People will wonder if that's "your secret weapon" to great results!

2. Wear a helmet. I think you'll find that people will give you a lot more room when you're lifting when you walk in with head protection (especially when you do overhead exercises!).

3. Pick up the 2-pound nose-itcher dumbells and proceed to lift them like you're doing the hardest set in your life. Scream and strain like you're pushing it to the limit. The larger you are, the more effective this one will be.

4. Load a tremendous amount of weight onto the bench press bar, e.g. 500 to 600 pounds. Make a big production with your preparation, lie back on the bench, then, just as you are about to lift the bar off the rack, your watch alarm (previously set by you, of course) should go off. Look at your watch, shake your head, unload the bar then move onto your next exercise. The smaller you are, the more effective this one will be!

5. Do actual squats in the squat rack. You may have to wait for a few people to finish their barbell curls but the strange looks you get when you start squatting in the squat rack will be well worth it.

6. Wear an electric ab-training belt with an extension cord duct-taped to it. Plug yourself in just before each set.

7. Have your workout partner bring an old remote control from home. When he presses a button, do a rep. When hits "fast forward" go faster. When he hits "pause" hold the weight where it is. Just make sure he doesn't hit the "eject" button, especially after a hard set!

8. Count your reps out loud starting from 100, e.g. your first rep, say "101", then "102", etc.

9. Bring a suitcase to the gym instead of a duffel bag. The little rolling ones with the pop-up handles are good. Also, a really huge one that you can fit a person comfortably in will work.

10. Do a set of Rolling Dumbell One-Arm Handstand Push-Ups. Or Turkish Get-Ups. Or Triceps Extensions on the Leg Press Machine.

11. Use sandwich bags instead of workout gloves.

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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