Hot Summer Friday Fitness Funnies

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

11 Aug 2006 10:00 AM

Man is it hot in August! People say that every year and for some reason, when August rolls back around - we're amazed by how hot it once again is. Keeping in mind how hot it is in August - here are some quotes, jokes and funnies to keep yourself cool with on this hot day!

Friday Funny Quotes for Fitness

• The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. -- Walter Page
• Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. -- Mark Twain
• Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -- Mark Twain
• To eat is human, to digest, divine. -- Mark Twain
• Food is an important part of a balanced diet. -- Fran Lebowitz
• I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. -- Barry Gray
• Oh! that this too solid flesh would melt... -- William Shakespeare
• Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. -- Alexander Woollcott
• I'm the tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'When!'-- PG Wodehouse
• Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a 90 ft Redwood. -- Erma Bombeck
• I'm fat, but I'm thin inside. Has it ever struck you that there's a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there's a statue inside every block of stone? -- George Orwell

Funny Fitness One Liners

• Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it
• Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping the scales
• The Right Honorable was a rebel leader was finally apprehended by military police and summarily sentenced to death. The police superintendent watched as the blindfolded man was led before the firing squad, then magnanimously came over to offer him a last cigarette. "No thanks," was the condemned man's answer, "I'm trying to quit."
• If you drink like a fish, drink what a fish drinks
• This guy's not your ordinary, garden variety drunk. Far from it. Last year he donated his body to science, and he's preserving it in alcohol till they can use it.
• If exercise is so good for you, why do athletes have to retire by age 35?

Any fitness funnies you'd like to share?

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The Top 10 Things I Hate About Exercising in the Summer

Friday June 30th Fitness Funnies

Bring on the Funny in the Fitness

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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