I Have a Confession to Make

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

08 Nov 2006 06:03 AM

Good morning readers, I have a confession to make. I turn 35 next April and I have been a smoker for nearly 20 years. Today, I am making a concerted effort to stop smoking altogether. I nearly did it when I was pregnant with my daughter, turning a nearly two pack a day habit down to just 4 cigarettes a day that lasted until I was done breast feeding and then somehow, went right back to where it was before.

I've tried quitting before and the longest I lasted was six weeks with no cigarettes and then one day, all it takes is lighting just one and I was back on the habit. For the last three years, I've not allowed myself to smoke inside. Instead, if I wanted a cigarette, I had to step outside to do it. I've still done my workouts, I've still worked hard on getting in shape, but I could never shake that habit.

No More Bad Habits

Some of the credit for the decision I made last night when I went to the store to buy a carton of cigarettes and instead walked out with a pack of 21 Nicorette CQs (for those of you who don't know, that's a nicotine patch) has to go to this blog. I write about how hard it is to overcome bad habits all the time here. I write about having faith in yourself and believing in yourself. I write about the fact that it's important to take everything one step at a time, one day at a time.

As of 6 a.m. this morning, it has been over 8 and a half hours since I had my last cigarette. That's exactly what I called it, too - my last cigarette. This morning, I woke up and wondered would I be able to do this, would I be able to slap on a patch and forget about the cigarettes without turning into a furious, bitter person, railing at the world and feeling the stress.

I don't have an answer to that question. I know I spent five minutes doing deep breathing exercises until the patch kicked in and the first craving for the cigarettes past. Smoking is an addictive habit, I started smoking 20 years ago to break myself from doing more illegal drugs that looked so very attractive at the time. Cigarettes helped me by transferring one addiction for another.

Today Is a New Day

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives and today I am making a concerted effort to dump cigarettes from my list of bad habits. So maybe I'll swear a little and I might be a little grumpy and I'm probably going to ramp up my workout routine to keep my stress levels down, but 24 hours from now, it's going to be easier.

24 hours after that, it's going to be even easier.

In three weeks, I will step down from the patch I'm on to take the next step. I hope you don't mind, but I plan to share this transition with you here. If you're planning to stop smoking, I'd love to hear your stories and I'll be here to share my support. If you have stopped smoking, please stop by for a moment to share your stories because there's nothing like a success story to inspire you.

My Inspiration

My mother inspired me. She stopped smoking 7 years ago after smoking for more than 35 years. She still occasionally craves a cigarette, but she won't allow herself even one - because one is all it takes to undo the hard work. Thanks for listening to my confession!

Related Articles:

November Is A Great Time To Talk To Your Kids About The Dangers of Smoking

Nicotine May Help Depression

Smoking and Infertility

Break Down The Cost of Smoking

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger

Valorie Delp (49340) 08 Nov 2006 05:28 PM

You go girl! Keep it up--you can do it!

Michele Cheplic (37349) 08 Nov 2006 06:44 PM

Ditto! You got this Heather--hang in there!

Heather Long (16954) 09 Nov 2006 04:51 AM

Thank you both! It means a lot. We're into day 2 now and it's not what I would call 'better' yet, but I feel good about having made it to day 2!

Valorie Delp (49340) 09 Nov 2006 05:36 AM

Yeah Heather! (Imagine me doing a happy dance!) It's only day 2 but that's more than it was 2 weeks ago right? Hang in there! You can do it!

Heather Long (16954) 11 Nov 2006 12:45 PM

Here we go -- well into day 4 and I've got the cold and the shakes, but I'm getting there. I've had a sore throat for the better part of 24 hours and I'm running a fever too -- but I'm hanging in there.

Nicole Humphrey (15757) 11 Nov 2006 06:40 PM

Oh Heather I've so been there. Silently praying for you to get through this. I know you can do it. The cold, shakes and general "sick" feeling does go away. You should actually start feeling a lot better by tomorrow evening. It's usually day five or six that becomes the "easier" days. Just think Heather, a few more days and you've passed a week!! Woohoo!! We're all cheering for you. Nicole

Heather Long (16954) 12 Nov 2006 08:39 AM

Thank you Nicole! It's important to have a great support system and I'm very fortunate to know so many people who have been rooting for me. I keep reading messages like this one when I feel that urge to reach for a smoke, but I do feel somewhat better today than I did yesterday! So woot!