Watch What You Say

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

27 Apr 2006 10:30 AM

When it comes to the issue of obesity in our world, there is a lot of focus currently on childhood obesity. Parents are deluged with warnings about letting your child overeat, not telling them to clear their plate, take away all their sweets and shoving them out the door to make them more active. Unfortunately, we're not being told what to say to our children.

My five-year-old daughter came home from school two days ago and told me she wasn't going to have chocolate anymore. I looked at her oddly, this pronouncement being somewhat odd from the five-year-old. I asked her why. She told me that she didn't want to be fat.

I blinked.

My daughter is a healthy, active five-year-old who goes through phases of heavy-duty eating and eating like a bird. She does it primarily when we're heading into a massive growth spurt. She's hardly fat. In fact, she's very proportional. I asked her why she said that.

She mumbled her response. When I asked her to clarify, she told me that one of the teachers at school told her that they were all getting fat. Fat was bad. They needed to eat less and be more active.

Okay, now I admit. My mommy antennae went up severely at hearing that anyone told her she was fat. When she started to cry and said she really didn't want to be fat. Fat people couldn't have friends. She was disconsolate and I was furious.

We talked about it and I told her what I know for facts about eating. One, she doesn't overeat. She eats when she is hungry. She prefers healthy snacks like apples and bananas to chocolate. That doesn't mean she can't ever have chocolate. I told her that she was very active. She runs outside. She rides her bike. She plays. She does dance. She does gymnastics and she's getting ready to take riding lessons.

I also told her that she should be proud of her body and not ashamed of it. I went to her school first thing and talked to the educational coordinator. I explained to her that I understand they are just trying to educate kids, but they really need to focus on HOW they say things, not just what they say. We can damage our children pretty badly by abusing them with bad self-images.

I don't care if childhood obesity is an epidemic. I don't care if my daughter eats chocolate. But inflicting unrealistic parameters and making her feel bad about herself - that's hardly a solution. Positive changes need positive self-images - watch what you say and whom you are saying it to. How would you like someone pointing at you and telling you how fat you are. Adults take that badly, but we have emotional self-defense that our children do not possess yet.

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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vkirkman (58) 27 Apr 2006 07:37 PM

The elementary school where I live is in the middle of a big fitness push. My 6 year granddaughter is overweight, which has been cause for concern for us. But she has never had any problems personally, until they started this thing in school. Now, other children are abusing her by calling her fatty and such, and making fun of her. Her mom is heading for school tomorrow! In the meantime, grandpa is furious!

Heather Long (16954) 27 Apr 2006 08:10 PM

Thank you for sharing that! I wish her mom great good luck. This is exactly the type of thing that will happen and it will create another generation of finger pointing, social alienation and more.